This letter addressed to the Editor was published in the Times of Swaziland about 16th November 2010, in response to a series of letters being sent in by a few men basically discussing how the mysterious West has corrupted their Swazi sisters to wear pants, short skirts, and the like; and they came to the conclusion that that’s why men rape women in Swaziland: because they just can’t help themselves when they see women dressed in a certain way.
I think this is an interesting topic, obviously one in which everyone has an opinion given the amount of time spent arguing about it, as there are avid supporters of both sides. What do you think? How does this subject make you feel? Which view would you teach your children?
“Dear Mr. Mbingo,
In response to Mr. Vukani Dlamini’s letter published on Thursday November 11, 2010 in which he airs his opinion about the wearing of pants by women, may I reply?
How dare anyone, in any way, imply that one result of women wearing pants is to cause men to become so aroused they are forced to rape someone to be satisfied. That is a disgusting and deluded statement to make. It seems to echo the common consensus at the bus-ranks that a woman wearing a miniskirt is begging to be raped or sexually assaulted. How convenient for this man (and many others) who seems to condone that men are allowed to have no self-will or cannot exercise self-control. To blame pants for society’s illnesses (most of which are committed by men) and label pants-wearing Christian women as loose women reflects a typical symptom of today’s “real” Swazi man: a man who denies his responsibility and the consequences for his own behavior, and rather chooses to blame those around him. Well, no wonder our beautiful country is in the state it’s in.
And to quote the Bible (out of context, might I add) to suit his outrageous views is again merely a reflection of the behavior and actions of “pastors” and leaders (a certain prince who denies the seriousness of HIV/AIDS comes to mind) who make statements and behave indecently with no thought as to the impact their actions and scandals on the public they’re called to lead. Where is the morally-strong and transparent leadership this nation so badly needs? It starts with our men rising up to lead by example.
Recently, I was reading a brilliant book “Every Man’s Battle” which deals with everything from sexual purity to crippling pornography addictions in a very candid and practical way, they offered the following thoughts:
1. Make a covenant with your eyes; refuse to allow sexually impure things into your “eye gate”. It works like this, When you see an attractive woman, instead of locking onto her with your eyes, and roving over her body, but never seeing the person God created inside; BOUNCE your eyes! LOOK AWAY IMMEDIATELY. Simple really. If that woman is not your happily married wife (whom I hope you are faithful to), you have NO right to look her over lustfully. Point. End. Stop looking at those magazines, and watching “blue movies” too. Just. Stop.
2. Make a covenant with your mind; do not allow sexually impure thoughts to rule your thought life. Jesus teaches that we should take captive every thought and bring it into submission to God. If what you’re thinking about in any way even “hints” at the impure, you need to exercise your God-given free choice and reject that thought. Eventually, you begin to starve your imagination of the sexually perverse. Garbage in, garbage out. From the heart (and the mind) flow the issues of (your) life, so examine your heart honestly.
While I personally feel that a woman ought to dress modestly i.e. minimal cleavage, no midriff baring tops, watch the short skirts, etc. so that she shows HERSELF (first and foremost) respect, let’s not get legalistic about clothing and appearance. I believe Christ accepts us as we are, and in love corrects our shortcomings, whatever they may be. His heart is for restoration, not condemnation. Our change is a process.
Be a real man, take responsibility for your actions, and learn to bounce your eyes.
You might find a strange thing happening… all of a sudden, it doesn’t matter if she’s wearing pants.
